Friday, June 12, 2009

last summer

Almost a year ago today, I was told I had less than a year to live. After two months of deteriorating health, unsure diagnosis, wrong diagnosis's, different medications, and a mind full of questionable thoughts I was told what I feared the most. I didn’t cry that day, or the next. I accepted my fate and I remember just trying to show everyone in my life that it was okay. I came to really realize what the meaning, ‘everything in life happens for a reason’ truly meant. I figured that there was nothing but hard times to come and honestly I was okay with that.

This past year has been difficult in many different aspects. I’ve watched my family and loved ones cry with tears of sorrow and tears of joy. I’ve had breathing tubes put in and taken out. I’ve struggled with learning to walk again, and being able to hear my own voice after four weeks of being unable to speak. I know that the ups and downs I faced last summer are never going to even compare to the things I’m going to encounter in the future because nothing was that difficult.

If I were to experience this again, I would accept it as I did the first time around. Despite the hardships that came with what happened, I was surrounded by loved ones every single day. And if things were to happen differently, if things were to be worse, then that would be fine because I can’t change what’s already going to happen. The only things I can change are my attitude about it, and make the most out of what was to come.

To be honest I never thought I would have had such a great turnaround. I remember thinking in the hospital that there wasn’t anything I could do, but when things started to look better, when I was still able to lift my left hand up, when I was starting to regain a little strength I knew I couldn’t waste it. I knew that I had to keep trying, keep fighting, and keep doing my best to get past whatever it was that was holding me back.

Even to this day despite multiple doctors’ visits, MRIs, cardio appointments, etc, the doctors are still unsure of what exactly happened to me. They think it’s an isolated case, a onetime occurrence, but they said they couldn’t say that for certain. All I know is that without the love and support of the people around me, the people I don’t know, the amazing hospital staff at Children’s (21 is the age limit there! Aha!) I wouldn’t be where I am today. You all made me keep fighting, you all gave me the strength I needed to push myself, your support kept me from giving up in the moments where that’s all I wanted to do.

So thank you for your thoughts, for your prayers, and for just showing me love in the time where I needed it the most. And I hope that you all know I appreciate everything you’ve all done, and I care about each and every one of you (even if I don’t know you, or we don’t speak anymore). I wish you all the best, and I will keep doing my best to make a difference in this world and to show you all that your thoughts weren’t wasted.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

A Sunday Update

Hi everyone, I haven't updated this blog much lately on account of there isn't any news for me to share with you all in regards to my health, plus I update my personal blog. Other than the good news of my life has returned to normal, and whatever in my brain has been shrinking, there isn't much for me to add. I have a math final tommorow, and this quarter is pretty much over and done with. Also been working around 4 days a week. Been saving up money for my big trip.

I thought you might all want to see the MRI's I had done, these are just two.

My first one ever taken, and the circled red area is actually the inflammation (what I shall refer to it as) its' really big that's why the doctors were so insistant that it was a tumor. This was taken in June of 2008.

This second picture is a different angle, and the circled area is the spot/what's left of the inflammation. It's pretty much smaller than a pea, which is great news. This picture was taken October 2008. A very big change in 5-6 months.

I just wanted to say thank yuo all again for everything, and for keeping me in your prayers. Also I cut off about 3-4 inches of my hair yesterday, so here's what I look like as of right now! Maybe I should upload a video of me doing a strenous exercise or something to show you guys my progress!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

MRI Results

First of all, I feel exteremy lucky and blessed to able to share good, no great news with you all. It's almost as if I've been given another chance to make the most out of my life. God has blessed me with great people, and a challenge, that I am overcoming.

Today I went to Childrens to get the results of my MRI from last week. The neurologist told me that they still don't have a clear idea of what it is, or what made it occur. The tests they sent out over the summer with my blood, etc all came back negative/normal. So that's a pretty good sign. Then she showed me pictures of my brain. She showed me the original MRI picture from back in August which showed a very large white spot in my medula, and then she showed me the picture from last week's MRI, and the white spot seems to almost be gone now. Which means that my brain is getting back to normal (the color), and it's only got a very little spot of gray/white left. So everything is getting better, and they want to keep me on surveilance for awhile. My next MRI is going to be in January before my trip, and then after that I only need to get an MRI every 6 months, so things are going good!

Also on another note I recently came into news in regards to some people that I do not know. And it's really sad because sometimes its so hard to believe that some people are so unhappy to the point where they need to end their own lives. I know people suffer, and people hurt but I just wish people didn't hurt to that point, that extent. Life is so precious and we're all only given one. Maybe someone had a bad day, maybe someone had a lot of bad days, maybe it was just a fluke. I don't know, what I do know is that we all have the power to make other people feel better about their situations, whether it be by offering a smile, giving wave, being courteous, or even holding a door. We all have the power to do something and to brighten someones day, so we should. Why let people suffer quietly? Why let people harbor pain? Why let people think that no one cares when we do?

This whole sitaution has changed my outlook on life, and the values of family and friends. There's never a moment now where I don't want to do something for other people, and it's not because oh 'I should', it's because I want to. And I hope you all want to bring happiness to others, even if you don't know them. Sometimes all they need is one person to show them that things can be okay, and that strangers care. You've all shown me you care and for that I am eternaly thankful, without it I don't know where I would be.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


For the past two or so weeks I've been having headaches, they're not bad headaches, nor do they hurt. They're just annoying, and on the same side of my head every time. So my follow up MRI and Neurology appointment isn't until November 17 and 18, however I saw my doctor on Tuesday and she made a call and I had an MRI this morning at 7:15...Which was very early, especially for me. I had to leave at 6 am! But the MRI went well, and I'm just waiting to hear from Neurology in regards to how the scan/my brain looks. I hope that things continue to improve for me, and apart of me knows things will, things always get better. But if they don't, then that's okay too, becasue everything happens for a reason. I'm not scared or worried in regards to any of this business going on, I'm just trying to make the most out of everything in my life at this point.

School's not bad, but doing a full load online sure is not that fun! I started working again too, 4 days a week, it's not bad either. I need something to keep me busy. My friends have been great, hanging out, treating me like I'm normal again. Which I'd like to think I am, other than the fact that I have to take heart medication.

I feel like things are normal for me again, and I feel my old life habits resurfacing. Althoguh some are difficult to ignore, others aren't. I still am striving towrads a better life, etc. And today I realzied what one of my possible careers is/will be. I have a few, but this one I really want to see out. I'll update once I get the results of my MRI.

Thank you for checking this blog, and for praying for me. I cannot stress enough how much I appreciate everything you have all done for me. The world needs more people like this. Also dont' forget to vote!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Hey all,

Some news for you, (finally an update) I had a cardiology appointment a week or two ago, and they said that basically I'm giong to have to stasy on my heart medication. I had a few episodes when I was in the hospital where my heart would beat up to 200 bpm. So anyway my heart still does a fast beat sometimes out of nowhere but not anywhere near as bad, almost like i went for a run and its beating, trying to slow down.

I had a followup appointment wtih the whole rehab team today, and basically i'm doing really good. my strength's come back, etc. They even told me that they hadn't ever seen such a big turnaround ever. So my appointment went well, and i'm basically cleared for driving/traveling. Even though I started driving again a few weeks ago aha!

I have a followup with Neurology in November and another MRI in November, and hopefully it shows another improvement! On another note, tommorow is my last day of Physical Therapy! :)

Thank you all for the continued prayers.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

update, update, update

Sorry for the delay, it's hard to come up with things to say especially when your days consist of physical therapy, exercises, and hanging out. I thought it would be boring and repetitive to tell you all the same thing, over and over again. Anyways I've got a slew of doctors appointments coming up in the next few weeks, (probably something I mentioned before). Things are going well for me, I'm still trying to do my best. I find myself growing snappier at my family over little things, and I'm trying to stop that because it's uneccesary. And besides a happy wennie is a better wennie! :)

On to some intresting news! I finally got my new tattoo yesterday, I was stuck between two choices. The first was the word 'rescued' because I feel like everything that happened to me in a way saved my life. I mean it sounds stupid, but apart of me really feels as if this was supposed to happen. Almost like the life I was living before just wasn't good enough, and this thing that happeend to me, forced me to accept things that I didn't want to or could accept before, forced me to push harder, forced me to just be better, to live better. That's why I feel like this thing that happened inside of my brain rescued me, it rescued me from my own life. I don't care if people think it's stupid, or dumb because it's got meaning to me and that's all that matters. It's a reminder of what happened, and what I need and should strive towards. It's also on my right arm because 1) I've already got a tattoo on my left side and 2) its right under where they give me my IV's for my MRI's (just another reminder that I've still gotta keep pushing and giong).

I'll try to come up with more intresting things to tell you guys, therapy is going well and the strength is returning and almost equal at least in my legs. I think it's almost the same in my arms too! I feel like my health is improving, and I'm putting on weight! Below is a picture of my new ink. Thank you for your continued prayers and good thoughts! I will do my best to update more frequently!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

another update

Hi everyone,

I've been home for almost two weeks now and things are going very well. The tingling and numbness I felt before I entered the hospital have gone, and I feel my body becoming normal again (back to what it used to). I still do physical therapy and I'm diong it three times a week, and after next week it'll be reduced down to two times a week. I'm able to sprint now and squat down, which dosen't seem like much but for me it's a big improvement. I remember the first time I tried to squat down I fell, also the pain in my legs is gone when I walk so it's easier for me now to be walking a lot. I have another followup in two months for my MRI, and a cardiology appointment in the next few weeks to see if I need to stay on my heart medicine, and a follow up with the rehab doctors (all my therapists too!) at the end of september to make sure i'm on track.

I plan on doing a full course load at school this quarter, joining a gym, working on my business, and getting a job as a mentor at a non-profit clinic. Things are looking up and I'm pretty happy. Below is a picture I put together from my time in the hospital to show yuo all the differences.

Thank you all again for everything yuo've done for me, and for praying for me and keeping me in yuor thoughts.